Not Surviving, But Dominating First Year

First year isn't about grabbing life by the balls and embracing your inner Rhodent, partying too hard, drinking too much and leaving your worries and responsibilities at home. Having said that, first year is also not about ploughing through endless heaps of work and surviving off minimal sleep, food and money. Its about handling any situation thrown at you and the ability to pull through the tougher times and laugh through times that will remain as memories. But probably the largest aspect to first year is friends. Friends become family and as you learn to cope with situations without your parents so you'll rely more and more on your friends to pull you through.

My first impression of Julia Rosemary Bingham, or Jubes for short, was the widest and toothiest grin I've ever seen a girl smile, without being entirely aware that she resembles the cross between a saber-tooth tiger and a patient visiting the dentist. Her nose wrinkles up, her eyes close and then comes the most infectious laugh that she almost makes you forget the reason you're laughing to begin with. It's been close to a decade that I've known Jubes and I was under the impression I knew all there was to know about my best friend. But that's when Rhodes intervened. Behind the laugh that sparks the cracking grins of onlooking strangers is a pain that you only notice when she's unaware that you're looking. Her uniquely green and yellow eyes widen and her mouth purses closed, there's a defiant look that plagues her thoughts and is mirrored in her expression. I've never noticed this until this year.

Jubes spent her high-school years at one of the most prestigious girls school in the country. St. Mary's exudes excellence in every way, sporting, academic and cultural, but “there's an emptiness when it comes to the spirit within the school”. Too much talent, excess and money makes the extraordinary seem mundane and the expectation to keep up appearances is a day-to-day task. Objectively, Jubes was different to everyone else, her vivacious outlook on being at this school was that it was a privilege. Privilege was not an aspect that many St. Mary's girls understood. Jubes had this ability to become comfortable in any situation and I never thought that the daunting reality of moving out of the home and into the world, was an experience Jubes couldn't handle.

Jubes has an older brother at Rhodes, Nick. For any student moving from being a day scholar to living away from home and having total independence, its a momentous milestone to reach in one's life. But it's somewhat easier to move to a place where you have family. In Jubes' case it was different. Nick encapsulates the Rhodent lifestyle, he drinks too much, party's too hard and everyone in Grahamstown knows him. Whether it's the barman at the 'Rat and Parrot', the Dean of Students or the local police officers, Nicholas Bingham's reputation precedes him. So coming from a classy school for elegant ladies to the raucous way of the Rhodent, Jubes was thrown into the Rhodes life and and thereafter referred to as “Bing-Bong's sister”.

When Nick was diagnosed with Muscular Dystrophy during the July holidays, Jubes' whole world shattered. She couldn't go out without knowing her brother was in utter denial of his situation and as a result just rejected any steps towards controlling his wild lifestyle. “It's not something I can explain, it's almost like I have to 'mother' him, I'm not forced to, but I can't see him when he's out of control and do nothing. I feel like I've restarted my first year and I'm all alone.”

From my perspective Jubes is a different person, her face doesn't light up the way it used to and her laughs are short-lived. This year has been the most trying and soul destroying year Jubes has ever had to endure. Throughout life friends change and mature differently and university changes people the most, but although this year has been a year of growth and pain for Jubes she will always put the people she loves before herself. She hasn't only survived this year she has dominated it. She has tackled her struggles head-on and dealt with them without losing sight of what she treasures most. She's my inspiration, my hero and the first person I think of when I wake up in the morning. I only want to one day be the inspiration she's been to me.