What's your idea of 'easy'?

By Samantha de Villiers

Most students at Rhodes University have noticed the boy/girl ratio and the serious overpopulation of girls in Grahamstown. The question is not why there is this unbalanced ratio but more the question of what are the implications of it. In my opinion, coming from a girls perspective, the significance of this disequilibrium between genders creates a semi-hidden sexual tension among girls. There has always been an assumed 'cattiness' about the way girls treat each other, but never before has it been so blatantly approached. The more girls to one guy the more the female population of Grahamstown feel the need to elevate their association with the opposite sex. What is meant by 'elevation'? Indeed, I am referring to girls feeling they should 'put themselves out there' more, meaning that moral boundaries are a thing of the past!

Although Grahamstown, in general, has a fairly relaxed approach to life, what goes on behind closed Res room doors is no mystery. As one student said, “It's so easy to 'get laid' at Rhodes, it's all about who you know and whether they're willing”. But the behaviour is not only like this when no body's watching. The female allegiance has disappeared within Rhodes, girls feel more inclined to side with boys rather than girls, for one simple reason. Girls are threatened. A cheating boyfriend is never to blame, it was the fault of the assumed flirtatiousness of the other girl and her inability to keep her claws off her man. It's this kind of mentality that is slowly destroying the romance in the world today. I seem like a bit of an idealist, I'm sure. But realistically speaking, romance is already dead. The newest gossip on campus is about two first-year students that are engaged after a month of dating, would this ever happen a decade ago? This strikes me as a desperate cry for attention and a blunt sign of immaturity. Why would any student just beginning their independence, make one of the most sacred binding promises between two soul mates, if not for the comfort of decreasing the risk of this savage game of courtship played by students today.

The age-old game of courting and abstinence has come to a grinding halt. Men are not used to making the decisions or having to say 'no', and women are not familiar with such a lack of morality. It's almost like the world is in turmoil. Kissing means nothing and sex is meaningless, when everything is already done, what next? That is why there is such a thrill in doing what is wrong because people are becoming more and more numb to issues of the heart and the natural high it provides. How could we let something this destructive eat its way into our small Rhodes community, let alone allow ourselves to be controlled by 'the game'.

It's not about addressing the issue of abstinence or the risks sex involves, nor about the approaching the problem of morality. It's about calling back the link girls lose when they are distracted by competition. Addressing the fact that there is a code to be followed and compliance with the code is vital in every aspect of life. Because matters of the heart are the hardest subject to resolve especially when they are this out of control.