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http://blogs.thetimes.co.za/britten/2007/10/04/is-the-daily-sun-an-insult-to-black-people/
Okay i really had a problem commenting on this person's blog but nonetheless i have made a plan. I totally agree with the comments made and the message behind this topic.
By Samantha de Villiers
Most students at Rhodes University have noticed the boy/girl ratio and the serious overpopulation of girls in Grahamstown. The question is not why there is this unbalanced ratio but more the question of what are the implications of it. In my opinion, coming from a girls perspective, the significance of this disequilibrium between genders creates a semi-hidden sexual tension among girls. There has always been an assumed 'cattiness' about the way girls treat each other, but never before has it been so blatantly approached. The more girls to one guy the more the female population of Grahamstown feel the need to elevate their association with the opposite sex. What is meant by 'elevation'? Indeed, I am referring to girls feeling they should 'put themselves out there' more, meaning that moral boundaries are a thing of the past!
Although Grahamstown, in general, has a fairly relaxed approach to life, what goes on behind closed Res room doors is no mystery. As one student said, “It's so easy to 'get laid' at Rhodes, it's all about who you know and whether they're willing”. But the behaviour is not only like this when no body's watching. The female allegiance has disappeared within Rhodes, girls feel more inclined to side with boys rather than girls, for one simple reason. Girls are threatened. A cheating boyfriend is never to blame, it was the fault of the assumed flirtatiousness of the other girl and her inability to keep her claws off her man. It's this kind of mentality that is slowly destroying the romance in the world today. I seem like a bit of an idealist, I'm sure. But realistically speaking, romance is already dead. The newest gossip on campus is about two first-year students that are engaged after a month of dating, would this ever happen a decade ago? This strikes me as a desperate cry for attention and a blunt sign of immaturity. Why would any student just beginning their independence, make one of the most sacred binding promises between two soul mates, if not for the comfort of decreasing the risk of this savage game of courtship played by students today.
The age-old game of courting and abstinence has come to a grinding halt. Men are not used to making the decisions or having to say 'no', and women are not familiar with such a lack of morality. It's almost like the world is in turmoil. Kissing means nothing and sex is meaningless, when everything is already done, what next? That is why there is such a thrill in doing what is wrong because people are becoming more and more numb to issues of the heart and the natural high it provides. How could we let something this destructive eat its way into our small Rhodes community, let alone allow ourselves to be controlled by 'the game'.
It's not about addressing the issue of abstinence or the risks sex involves, nor about the approaching the problem of morality. It's about calling back the link girls lose when they are distracted by competition. Addressing the fact that there is a code to be followed and compliance with the code is vital in every aspect of life. Because matters of the heart are the hardest subject to resolve especially when they are this out of control.
First Year Experience in UPM - Malaysia Students Blog
I have had a similar experience to you regarding the "stupidity of seniors" you have encountered in your first year at uni. My university, which is in South Africa, also has an orientation week, which is run by senior students. I also found their attitude to be negative towards the younger students and their behaviour to be similarly immature. These issues are highlighted in one of my posts, First Years Demand Your Respect, which is found on my student blog. I find this issue to be an important one in today’s society as people are told to respect those above them, even when those above them are immature and negative. Hopefully my post will entertain you regarding this issue and I am sure you will agree with my point of view. My blog is called Balancing Beams and deals with student issues and life as a first year student. I found your post to be quite relevant to how older students behave in my experience of being a first year.
tapuna: TAKE OUT YOUR CARD BLACKIE!! HERE COMES THE CPU
Reading your piece was very entertaining partly because I noticed a lot of spelling errors. It is also evident that you were emotionally charged while writing this, in the structuring of your sentences as well as the words you chose to use. I also found that the comments you made in this piece, although it is an opinion piece which highlights how you feel about security guards and the CPU, are just assumptions which you deem true. Your opinion piece is very weak because it is charged with too much emotion which ruins the potential message that could have been sent across. Although there are many important points, there are just as many mistakes. First of all the CPU uniform is navy blue not black, the security guards with the black uniform are from a private company. Secondly your main argument is centred on experiences you and your friends faced, so you can’t assume that this has happened to every black group of guys. You also assumed that the guards are always ‘wearing unsmiling faces’ and that they hate black students because they are ‘angry and jealous’ of us. I don’t think you have the authority to make such statements about people you hardly ever speak to. You don’t know what their background is so you can’t pass your judgements based on mere assumptions. You also contradict yourself by saying that you don’t think you’re better than then and yet you say "they feel threatened by us because they realise that soon they will be working for us".
Rhodes is a dangerous jungle where the opportunity for Seal clubbing is rife. The concept of seal clubbing stems from the inhumane killing of baby seals, the definition can be found at: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=seal+clubbing. The Rat and Parrot, Union and Friars are the hunting grounds for second, third and fourth year students. The result often ends in disaster with a tarnished reputation. However, the question is this: who are to blame the hunters, or the hunted?
Writing from a female perspective, I feel that both parties should be held accountable for their actions. However, this still does not justify the idea of taking advantage of first years simply to win a game. Phillipa Reinders commented,” I felt so uncomfortable in first term, I felt like I was just a piece of meat and no one actually cared who I was.” This is an opinion shared by many first years, however, one has to ask, why have fourth years taken such an interest in first years? This leads me to believe that, once being first years, they fell prey to the seal clubbing antics and did not maintain friendships within their year, and so the cycle continues as each group of first years arrive. However, Beckett commented, “I think that when older boys take interest in us it’s like winning a trophy when you kiss them, I also think that in some cases girls are making a point by breaking away from high school.” This is a view where the hunted may be blamed for their actions as they were aware of the repercussions.
The general consensus around campus is that the ratio to boys is outrageous and is bordering 4:1; this has lead to some cut throat competition in order to be noticed; all hopes of finding your soul mate are quickly crushed and more than often, you find yourself doing things you would never normally consider. For example, digs formals, where the object is to dress promiscuously, get drunk and in most cases kiss your partner. The idea of dressing up as an ideal fantasy and playing games that have sexual connotations is both insulting and condemning towards women; even more so when they are branded “sluts”. However, I want to raise the controversial issue of why men are labelled players, yet women are sluts when they both do the same thing. Coming from an all girl’s school, I have seen firsthand that in many cases girls are more judgmental and often are the catalyst for labelling other girls “sluts.” it is hypocritical to say that the above issue is unfair when many girls contribute to slander, furthermore, even when they are promiscuous, when it doesn’t hurt anyone else, why should that wrong? We claim to live in a liberal society; however, it is issues such as these that directly contradict our beliefs.
I believe that there is so much to learn about ourselves and that we are in fact “baby seals,” however, I think that we should take more responsibility for our actions and stop shifting most blame elsewhere. We are all individual free thinking human beings, therefore, we should be aware of the risks we take and look at our own morals and consider whether we are in fact simply continuing the cycle that we so hate.
Cruiser's Lac: taking the trip without trippin': What is all the fuss about????
I felt that the arguments you made in your opinion piece held little strength, as you do not have the authority to make the assumptions you do, such as "I do not know why alcohol consumption has become such an issue". Your argument has no authority in truth as your beliefs are based on your own personal experiences, which is one of a balanced student, which is a lucky position you find yourself in. The truth is that the majority of party-goers at Rhodes do become the "stereotypical" drunk; you have only seemed to hear about and not experience. I personally know students who have fallen into the trap of seeing their own social time more important than their academic time. As a point of reference, a Thursday morning at Rhodes University is like a ghost town in which the students are too busy sleeping the last night off instead of coming to lectures. This is an embarrassing fact about studying at Rhodes. I also cannot agree with your assumptions about peer pressure as once again you do not have the authority to make such claims, "I never felt the pressure from any others to drink" You might not have but a lot more students than you have felt this pressure and sometimes it is impossible to say no. You cannot base your experience on such a general issue, your argument needs input from thousands of students and not just one biased opinion.
Twenty years ago you could not mention the acronym “ANC” for fear of being thrown into a jail cell for threatening to over throw the government. Twenty years ago the “no-no” words were “Freedom of speech”. These days the one word that sends shivers down every politically correct yes man is “censorship”. We’ve evolved far too much since the 1980’s to possibly even utter that horrific word. Censorship does not exist in today’s society. That is at least what we are constantly reassured. This opinion piece is centred on a debate that I have heard many people arguing over the span of my short life. At University, however, one stops hearing the generic forms of the argument and instead receives some actual substance. This debate is the typical freedom of speech versus censorship argument except with a bit of a twist. Instead of the usual “I got in sh*t for spray painting ‘evil homophobe with a small penis’ on my principal’s wall, but they cannot shut me up because I have freedom of speech” style argument. In fact I want to steer clear from that angle completely and the question that I’m asking is where is the line drawn? We can all go around parading our freedom of speech bubbles but sometimes I feel like there should be a way to make someone shut the hell up.
I heard a story the other day that made me partly want to tear up at the eyes and partly walk around with a baseball bat embedded with sharp nails. A friend of mine who has a few facial piercings was walking through pick ‘n pay when a middle aged man and his two daughters passed her. The fully grown man then turns to his daughters and says something along the line of, “look at that freak”. I do not think that people like that man should be allowed to procreate let alone have the freedom to choose his own words. If I had it my way that man would have every word from now until the day he dies scripted for him. It is people like this man who make me wish that we had some sort of device that could force people to eat their own words.
The thing is that I may be coming off as a bit of a hypocrite to my friends who know as the girl who WILL get punched in the face one day. The difference is that I joke with people and people like that joke about people. I am not Miss P.C. but in the past few weeks I have started to believe that the line between freedom of speech and hate speech is often blurred. For example a columnist as popular as David Bullard gets fired from the Sunday times and the media is at full attention. An incredible racist group is created on facebook and the only way that I heard about it was through my journalism lecturer. Seems a little bit strange doesn’t it?
I am going to leave this opinion piece open ended so as to encourage debate. If you would like to comment please do so. I would also like to know how many people out there find this column by satirist Ben Trovato as humorous and how many find it revolting? I will post my own answer up next week. http://www.iol.co.za/general/other/lol_container.php?click_id=2904&art_id=vn20080408055345915C514014&set_id=40
This week GAP held a women in SA week from the 13th till the 17th of October. They focussed on gender issues (duh!), justice, our country's political leadership and our country as a 'democracy'. They put up posters of different statements made by ANC President Jacob Zuma which I found very interesting and some which were hilarious.
But my highlight of the week was friday night,a number of female rhodents all gathered by the Drostdy Lawn sand lit candles as we prepared t omarch the streets in our attempt to 'take back the night'. This was a very successful an dmeaningful march because the number of rape attacks that have occured recently have been so appalling that action had to be taken.
So anyway we marched down high street and stopped near Frontier Hotel where a woman was gang raped onher way back from the jac lab searly in th emorning. We sang, danced even toyi-toyi'd and were joined by curious and like-minded and supportive observers, that was very touching. I even saw a group of men walking the pavements, joining in and singing along with us.
As we got back on campus after making our way up new street, we had a very chilled picnic inside the clock tower building. We all sat on the floor, ate pizza, had fizzy drinks, sweets n chips, and people recited poetry and spoke about how they felt about what we had done that night. It was a beatiful night filled with beatiful, strong and intelligent women who know their worth and believe in equality.
We took back the night alryt
Does coming to Rhodes University really turn one into a snob? And why is that the assumption? Is it because Grahamstown is such an ‘English’ town and speaking this universal language is the only way we can all understand one another? Is it really such a bad thing? Well seeing as I have been called a snob way before coming to Rhodes, I would assume that my being here has added more points towards my qualification. If I had to receive a credit for all the times I have been referred to or labelled a snob I would probably have an honours degree in Snobbism.
I have asked myself this question many times ‘Why do people think that of me?’ and I still do not have a concrete answer. Is it because I come from a township in Soweto called Dobsonville, is it because in the last of five siblings? Or could it be because at home when I do my chores I scrub the floor on my knees with a ‘skrop-lapa’ (a piece of cloth used for wiping dirt) instead of a floorwiz pro and that even though I may not be the best cook, I am still expected to prepare dinner a few times a week? No, it is probably because I do not speak English with a Black South African accent and because I have attended ‘Model C’ schools for the past eight years of my life.
Since arriving at Rhodes I do not think I have changed much because I am still labelled a snob, but I guess I should feel better seeing that the labellers are my very own friends rather than some random strangers right? Why does coming to Rhodes turn one into a snob? Being a qualified snob I would say that being here does nothing for us snobs, Firstly: we have to walk EVERYWHERE and walking is so not what snobs do, Secondly: we have to eat crappy dining hall food like EVERYDAY, *sigh* Thirdly: this place like only has like two ‘clubs’ and a pub, talk about being spoilt for choice. And lastly town is only one street long, high street and all the high fashion stores seem to have been moved downtown because I have not seen any and I would not be caught dead shopping downtown.
Being labelled a snob has its perks though, because it means that other people recognise that I am not just another random girl. They see me as someone who has high standards and morals and also as someone who respects her space and does not mingle with just anyone, why else would I keep my distances from them? It is also good that I am here at Rhodes because it means that I will meet my future husband and he will respect my standards and morals and will live up to them because being attracted to girls like me requires such. Because it is assumed that Rhodes turns one into a snob, I will have a lot more friends who are just like me, we will all be one big group of snobs and share our rich knowledge and experiences because I would assume that they would just as qualified as I am in Snobbism.
If coming to Rhodes will turn one into a snob then I have made the right choice in choosing this institution as the place where I plan to spend the next four academic years of my life. When I graduate and leave Rhodes University not only will I walk away with a Bachelor of Journalism but with a PhD in Snobbism as well.
This piece is in response to a recent house meeting I attended, in which the only post graduate in the residence addressed the first years in the group. He called us”disgusting first years” and “dirty and inconsiderate” His seemingly harsh statements were aroused by his discovery that someone had stolen his cooler box from the fridge. This targeting of a group, a group of innocent first years is somewhat biased in a residence situation from my point of view. The situation is an example of how first years are targeted before others, and how first years are seen as to blame. Second, third and fourth years believe that they are the ones first years should respect, yet this comes from a deeply entrenched belief that we should “respect our elders”. It raises questions of respect and who everyone is expected to respect.
Grades 8’s are expected to respect their Matrics in school, which is where this cycle begins. I remember believing in this cause, even when I was in Matric. Yet when I came to University, especially Rhodes, which I heard did not believe in initiation, I believed that I would encounter an atmosphere of mutual respect in which age did not matter and where there were no bigoted “elders” thinking that their three more years of experience gives them the right to single out a younger group. I was right to a degree, O Week proved comfortable, yet when it was over and the “elders” returned I faced a turnaround of fortune. The older crews were somewhat cold, seeing the first years as a lesser group in the facets of Rhodes life. They demanded respect; saw themselves as bigger men, it felt like they were doing you a favour when they were being your friend.
The initiation which is still a prevalent aspect at Stellenbosch University is a far more horrifying experience of this culture of respect. Stories range from intense hazing of first years who never talk about their experiences to students even wishing to leave their residences. These things never occur at Rhodes University, yet there is bigotry still prevalent in the residence system. Older students are seen as superior and believe that they should pass on their “culture” to the young, “naïve” first years. In terms of maturity this is a touchy subject, as older students immediately deem themselves as mature men compared to the new blood in the residence. This is a major problem as maturity is largely subjective from my point of view, as a man is only deemed truly mature when he is much older, not when he is in his 20’s. I found that my own perception of maturity was shifted when I came to university; I left home for the first time and have learnt how to fend for myself. Older students need to respect that first years learn how to cope quickly, after O week you are almost settled into life. A student a few years older than you should not be seen as an all wise adult. They are as mature as you, if not less, as it all depends on your definition of true maturity.
From this it can be seen that first years need complete undivided respect. This is a large rock to swallow for older students, yet it is the only resolution to an entrenched culture which is based on false suppositions. Especially ones they call “Post Grads” who believe that they reign over all in terms of wisdom. This system is one I hoped to break out of when I left school, the system of continuous respect of others who do not deserve respect, but unfortunately it is still prevalent in every part of society.
This Christmas
The last time I cried when watching a movie was when I watched The Notebook, it crippled my spine with pain and filled me with joy at the same time, making my emotions rage and forming waterfalls of tears down my eyes. I am in love with movies, music and written pieces that move my soul, lifting it (my soul) high into a different place and bringing joy to my heart, but this means…they have to make me cry. I watched This Christmas the other day which is another movie which bought tears to my eyes. It highlights the importance of family and emphasises the joy family brings to ones life. I lost an aunt(Mamani Selina) recently and have not felt so much pain since my Grandmother past on in April 2007. I felt as though my skin was been peeled off my body, my eyes had cried so many tears, my nose had been blown so many times, my brain scanned so many memories of her and I together, my soul collapsed, my head ached and… I… cried. I cried because it never made sense, but lately this ‘world’ doesn’t make any sense. I was in denial and a part of me still is. But the friend I have in God made it okay, even when I felt it never will be. Through the storm He helped me smile, the sun has been painted above my head again because His the artist of my life and all the pieces of my soul are being restored. She meant the moon and the stars to me and so did I to her, but only we knew how we felt about each other. Sadly I will not be spending This Christmas with her, like we had planned to, only because she is nothing but a tearful memory. God is love.
Learn the term “seal clubbing” well during o-week because you will need to arm yourself. Although seal clubbing is generally associated with older guys and first year girls it is not all limited to that stereotype. Gay, straight, bi, male or female, just like AIDS, you are at risk.
In case you skipped the first year dictionary generously provided by this blog “seal clubbing” is the term used to describe an older student getting an innocent first year to sleep with them. There are many weapons used in this blood sport including the deceiving “punch” and the disarming tequila. These weapons combined with a charming smile and a friendly offer to show you around town have infiltrated many a first year. It may seem too obvious and something that you would never fall for but remember that is still around because it works. As a first year, especially during that first term, you are trying to make friends with as many people as possible and are feeling liberated from all parental control. When you’re feeling insecure, scared and unsure of yourself you are basically an open invitation to anyone with a half decent haircut and some knowledge of your new home.
I am certainly not a prude who advocates sex only after marriage (yes, I do realise that I just used the word “prude” and no I’m not over the age of fifty). I am what my friend Jordan refers to as a “whatever-ist” meaning that I believe that you should do whatever makes you happy. If a good shag with a quick escape in the morning is your idea of a stress reliever then go for it. I’m just warning those of you who are innocent to the ways of guilt-free sex to know what you are getting yourself into. Guilt free sex means that he will not call you in the morning. At University sex does not mean anything unless otherwise stipulated when sober.
Consider this post a quick warning just in case you find yourself wondering why the number that nice guy at the Rat and Parrot gave you is one digit short.
University and pre-school have a lot in common. Think about it my friend. For one thing you eat breakfast at eight, lunch at twelve and dinner at five. Another thing that the two institutions have in common is naps.
When I came to Rhodes I didn’t know what naps were. I felt like I had walked into a country with a very different language and that is why we have included a few key terms that will better help you speak the language of Rhodes. Having naps is generally associated with having not slept in your own bed. This, however, does not mean that you should go around saying that you had naps just because you passed out on your friend’s floor. “Naps” has a definite sexual connotation, but it is not all about one night stands and meaningless sex. You can have “naps” with your boyfriend or girlfriend. You can also have “naps” with a random stranger or just somebody that you’re interested in. “Naps” is not just limited to full on sexual intercourse (as my mum would put it) but can include anything from a simple make-out session to the most hectic kinds of kink.
“Naps” at University are not something to call home about. They are as common as short skirts at friars. This is not to say that there are no issues surrounding the bedtime adventures. In my next blog I will be writing about boundaries and how to find your own boundaries at a place where the rules are limited and even those
This is how I roll…
Grab a tissue because my section of this blog is all about issues my friend. Okay, I know that is possibly the lamest remark that I could have made but this is my blog and a lame joke is how I roll. My posts will be dealing with everything to do with sexuality, politics and religion at Rhodes.
There are two different types of first years: Those who came straight from high school and those who took a gap year. I came straight from high school but to be honest my Matric year was much like a gap year. Gap year students that choose to travel often experienced the freedom of experiencing the world through their own eyes and not their parents’. Students that come to University straight from home are usually used to being influenced by their parents especially with regards to religious duties, political opinions and obviously their sexuality. When I came to Rhodes I had already encountered a part of the freedoms that University offers with regards to sexuality, politics and religion. What I had not encountered was the beauty of not having to explain myself. I’m sure that this is the case with many first years all over the world. There is a certain beauty to being able to miss mass on a Sunday and not having anybody looking at you disappointingly across the table at Sunday lunch. I am saying that those of you with definite religious beliefs should start to abandon your duties just because you can. What I am saying is that at University you are able to, for the first time in your life, explore your own beliefs as opposed to simply following the ritual that your parents have set out for you. University is where you become your own person, an individual instead of the product of a family.
I will be following up on each these different aspects of University life in my following blogs so if you are interested in the point of view of someone who has been there and has spoken to many others who have also been there then follow my posts.
All my love and painkillers
Miss Migraine
By: Kate Bishop Andrew Randles, otherwise known as Hake, will always be known as the party animal as he is frequently at Union, rat and Friars, but what you see is not what you get. Sprawled out like a lion on his towel, Andrew is the epitome of the perfect Rhodes student. As a first year student he has managed to beat the infamous first year spread by playing rugby, has earned a few firsts for his exams and yet still finds the time to go out at least three times a week. There is much to learn from this young man. “A hero in my eyes is someone that stands up for what they believe in, and cares for the people they love.” Andrew commented. Andrew has lived up to his definition of a hero this year by simply being himself and not conforming. He cannot be missed; he stands out from the crowd as he towers over most people, has the infamous 80’s mullet and has the most beautiful blue eyes which engage with yours when he speaks. Hilton College bred, Andrew came to Rhodes hoping to grow as a person and experience life in every possible way. “Rhodes has such a relaxed atmosphere and allows you to spread your wings in all directions” Andrew commented, his voice full of warmth and passion. Coming from a privileged background, Andrew feels that Rhodes is much better in terms of being able to express yourself and loves the freedom from the control that had dominated his life in boarding school. A member of Jan Smuts house, Andrew found it intimidating at first; however, now considers it home. He has made lifelong friends in the few months that he has been here and made an impact on many people’s lives, including best friend Richard Matthews said who commented, “Andrew has such strong moral values, and is the most selfless person I know, he will do anything for his friends.” Andrew has come to Rhodes and embraced the many opportunities that have presented themselves to him, including mastering the art of downing a bomb or two. When Andrew first came to Rhodes, like all other first years, he was overwhelmed by the work and social pressures that are all part of the varsity package, Rhodes is a completely new world to the one he was used to. “Finding a balance in my life was difficult at first, but after a few trial and errors that included getting 0 for an English essay because it was too late; I realised that you have to make sure that you know what’s going on in all your subjects. The moment you not sure what’s happening, that’s when you should skip the ten Rand draft and do some work.” As Andrew spoke he revealed a tattoo of an “R” under his right arm, this resembles the family name; he looks at his body as a canvas for the things he truly values in life. Andrew dreams of one day travelling through Africa, experiencing the sticky heat of Nigeria and the local bars in Benin. Andrew is not afraid to take chances and make life altering decisions, through this; he has discovered who he is. “Andrew has finally found himself, and now he is just being who he is you can either accept him or not.” Raymond France commented. Andrew is a gregarious intense person; he has balanced his life at Rhodes by enjoying everything in his moderation, respecting his friends and simply appreciating student life. Andrew sees a hero as someone who stands up for what they believe in, and cares for the people he loves, this year, through his courage, leadership and hard work he has proven himself worthy of being a hero.
Remembering O-week in October is a pleasant thought, only because Tshepiso was one of the first guy friends I made in this place called Rhodes, and I think he will always be a pleasant one to keep in mind. I got introduced to him and not more than three seconds later we were chatting away as if we had been friends for ages. The only way to know Tshepiso is through laughter, he amazingly is one person who captures my sense of humour even in the saddest of times. Your heart may be aching and your mind over loaded with thoughts. Thoughts which probably don’t even exist in the real world, but because the lingering of the mind is uncontrollable, you have such thoughts anyway. But then comes a soul we have been given by God, and he paints a smile on your face. He paints it carefully so as to make sure it’s long lasting and genuine.
"I grew up in Krugersdorp, Kagiso, a place of many memories, that have past and which are still to be generated", he says in the sense of being poetic and all. He lives with his aunt and his parents were never married, that might have had a minor effect on him, but "I get my mind of such worries through my music, I’m an aspiring DJ and chef", he says with a smile of assurance. In preparation of performing a dance piece he says, "I love dancing to anything that talks to my soul and makes my body move". Dreams drive this being to what he is today, along with his drama achievements. He arrogantly reminds me of the award winning character he is. "I did have full honours for drama back in high school you know, I always have to put that one in there, it impresses people", he jokes modestly. "I won the Gavin Hood best actor award, attended RAPS festival two years ago and my group and I presented Barber shop, which scored us nine awards and won best show, I did stand up comedy, I’m just naturally humorous, he says with so much wit.
This first year B-com student believes he can do anything and everything he wants to do, while leaning forward in a position to change the song playing on his laptop he says, "It’s all in the state of the mind". "The mind can take you anywhere Rose, just as long as you tell it to". I felt a moment of peace through his voice, peace which might have been tormented, therefore is experienced. In that moment he reflected the exact opposite of the vibrant full of life Tshepiso known to all, many would feel he does not have anything worthwhile or mind blowing to say, but he believes if you don’t know then you won’t care and this is one of his favourite quotes, from his very own collection. And by this he means if you don not know him you will not have any interest in who he is, for he is more than just a laugh.
Peter John Waugh: A first year survivor
No, dear readers, it is not a myth. It is not just another lie our parents tell us, like Santa Clause, so that we will behave. There is most definitely such a thing as a first year survivor. There are people out there who have managed to find a way to enjoy their first year without falling off of the balancing beam and landing in shark infested water. This profile on Peter John Waugh, one of those survivors, will hopefully shed some reflective light from the other side of first year. Since my blog deals with politics, religion and sexuality and the issues that accompany them at Rhodes Peter John (P.J.) was the ideal candidate. As a gay man P.J. is able to give us an inside look into what life at Rhodes is like not only as a first year but as a gay first year. As the politically correct generation that we are we tend to overlook issues that may arise because of sexual orientation. Rhodes University appears, from the outside, to be very accepting but you first years or future first years may want to know whether this is true. This profile will hopefully give you the balanced story of a survivor of first year at Rhodes.
Everybody who has met Peter John Waugh has an opinion about him. Whether it is good or bad P.J. makes an impression. His theatrical demeanour and honesty make him a fun interviewee. He is relaxed on the couch at Cow Moon Theory smoking hubbly with a mutual acquaintance as he waits for the interview to begin. “It has been an emotional roller coaster ride.” He says thoughtfully when asked to describe his first year at Rhodes. He goes on to say that although it started off placidly it has been a journey that has helped him grow a lot as a human being. This past year has been the best and the worst time of his life. To P.J. the best thing about Rhodes is the people. Each person contributes a little to your life and every conversation that you have has the potential to change your perspective. When asked whether it is possible to live a balanced life as a first year he says, “It depends on how you define ‘balanced’”. He thinks that is possible but it would not be easy at all. As a first year you are thrown into a new dynamic and an entirely different lifestyle to living at home. Finding that thing, that balances, that works would be a great struggle in first year.
Everybody has heard of a thing called “hazing” but according to P.J. it does not exist at Rhodes unless he is missing something. Being a first year is better to a certain extent because people are more willing to help you. Second and third years remember what it was like being confused and new to University life and therefore want to help you become more comfortable and relaxed.
When asked whether Rhodes is as “gay friendly” as it is made out to be P.J. becomes quite serious. He thinks that it really is. Although you get the odd “Jock” mentality in certain “bad bubbles” that can become violent for the most part the actual University has done a lot to combat homophobia. Does P.J feel that the society “OutRhodes” has done enough to support first years? No, he does not. He feels that many gay first years are intimidated by the group as they are very outgoing and loud and proud. Those who are still in the process of coming out to their friends and family may feel scared, although if you are active in the society it can help you. “Yes. No. Uh, lets just say yes.” Was his response to whether he feels that the gay and lesbian community at Rhodes is stereotyped. People form their own ideas of what you are supposed to be but you do not have to let them force you into that role.
P.J. is a survivor of first year and whilst interviewing him it becomes clear why. He is a hardworking individual who tries to play just as much as he works. He has found a way to get his head into the game when necessary and still make sure that he has a thriving social life. You can catch him almost daily at Cow Moon Theory where he likes to hang out and smoke hubbly with friends. If you choose to approach him though make sure he is in a good mood.
Yours painfully,
Miss Migraine
When one arrives at Rhodes University the first thing you find out about is the reputation that this institution has adopted in the past years. This ladies and gentlemen is the fact that Rhodents are to alcohol, what a nymphomaniac is to sex and that is putting it as bluntly as possible and it is one thing that they do not apologise for. So how come we still manage to produce such excellent results when it comes to our graduate pass rate? Well Catherine Selkirk is the perfect example of what this blog stands for and also a true definition of a Rhodent.
Blond ambition, young, bubbly energetic, eats a lot, loves cooking and baking, she loves the beach, is a loyal friend and party animal to the max. Catherine Selkirk, a first year B. Comm. Student does all this and manages to excel in her academic life with an older brother in the military and a mom who’s an educator, it’s not too hard to understand where the influence of her study regime comes from. Having a ‘work first and party later’ attitude, Catherine is a cut-above the average Rhodes Student.
A life dream of hers, is to open a beach resort on a secluded island, and with a comedic personality and witty sharpness, she jokes that when a big wave hits the resort, it will take the island down with it. And this great sense of humour is what the friends love about her. She is an academically minded student, excelling in her subjects. She Passionately states that she hates ‘learning’ subjects and prefers more practical subjects, and since this is Rhodes, what better practical subject than having a good night out and about with her friends and by doing this (religiously once a week) she creates a balance in life, which reverberates the English idiom, ‘All work and no play, makes jack (in this case Jill), a dull boy.
Despite her towering height which may intimidate many, her big bright eyes and broad toothful smile puts a person at ease and make one feel welcome when chatting to her. Shorts, sleeveless top and the flip flops covering a slender body frame, is Catherine’s staple dress sense loving food and eating a lot, Cath is blessed to have her mother’s slim body type which to us mere mortals seems to be unfair as she never has to many about losing that some and is not concerned about concerned about weight issues, although she attends gym regularly – ‘I like going to gym, it’s fun’.
She admits then when she got her first economics assignment back and realised she had failed it she was shocked initially but quickly bounced back and told herself that she would work harder towards the exam and bounce back she did, for someone doing economics for the first time she managed to get back on track for her June exams, ‘Don’t let your marks bring you down, just bounce back by working harder in the exams". This kind of academic success is nothing new to Cath who passed Matric with 3 distinctions in Maths, Science and Accounting. Her attitude toward books is ‘to never complain about the work you have, just do it and get it over and done with, so you can have fun afterwards’, her motto seems to be working for her seeing as she obtained four distinctions in June 2008.
Catherine is a rare but very typical rhodent who will walk out of this university having successfully enjoyed the Rhodes party lifestyle as well as a degree from one of the best academic institutions in the continent.
Richard Rogers has a message for Rhodes students: “For the guys who just want to party, rock on.” Richard has a stereotypical student room, with old bottles of crackling and whisky adorning the top of his bookcase and the usual mush of paper found in very unusual places. Yet Richard is called the “genius” by his res-mates because of his ability to be the often aspired to “balanced student”. Richard achieves academically at Rhodes, he received five firsts in June, as well as having a good time, which is a strange combination for most in his residence. Marcele Trerise, a friend of Richard’s, says he is “always chilled, but does work hard when he has to.” Richard has a stern expression and short regimental black hair; belying his partying nature which he says often involves “intrepid drunkenness.” He is also an aspirant accountant. He wears casual shirts and jeans, which lend to his chilled out perspective on life.
His idea of a balanced student is one who takes part in the three activities available to a student at Rhodes: Academics, Social and Sport. “Ensure that you are involved in all three, but never let one take too much time,” he says while lying lazily on his bed. He uses timetables to organise his life, so there are no last minute surprises. He always allows there to be more time for work than anything else and he works consistently which he means it is possible for him to party and pass. Residence lends to his “balanced” personality by giving him opportunities to have what he calls “big nights” and “the nights I can’t really remember, which do no count.” He believes residence is a big part of enjoying yourself on a Friday night, as you can down pre-drinks with friends and then walk down into the pit of debauchery i.e. town, without having to worry about safety. “The only door I have to lock when I go out is my room” he says with a broad grin.
Residence lends greatly to Richard’s sporting fascination, as he plays for his residence’s football team which made it to the plate semi-finals this season. He also sees residence as a great place to work, due to having so many other guys doing his same course, as well as having second and third years to help when he is stuck in a ditch of numbers. Richard believes that residence is “the place to be” if you want to be a balanced student. The only problems he has had an experience with is being the “man down” at a residence corridor party and finding that residence carpets do not clean easily. “One tip I would give you is to not use Omo to clean your carpets and to try and throw up on tiles or in a basin,” he says while pointing at encrusted white stuff on his floor, “it doesn’t work.”
Richard is from Cape Town so home is far away, which he says never really bothers him. “I’m always busy, I never get time to think about my mummy,” he laughs and then yawns triumphantly. “In truth I’m actually a lazy bugger,” he says and then laughs again. Partying in Grahamstown is a big part of Richards’s life. He is out every Friday, but tries not to over do it. “I think it would become repetitive if I went out all the time. The guys who over do it, don’t pass and that’s a fact of life.” He believes that attending lectures is important, except the ones which are “undeniably pointless and boring”.
Richard has been able to attain the status of being a “balanced” student through his ability to plan his life well and knowing when enough is enough. He also believes that aspiring students who want to come to Rhodes should make sure they’re in residence and should always “party hard but work harder”.
First year isn't about grabbing life by the balls and embracing your inner Rhodent, partying too hard, drinking too much and leaving your worries and responsibilities at home. Having said that, first year is also not about ploughing through endless heaps of work and surviving off minimal sleep, food and money. Its about handling any situation thrown at you and the ability to pull through the tougher times and laugh through times that will remain as memories. But probably the largest aspect to first year is friends. Friends become family and as you learn to cope with situations without your parents so you'll rely more and more on your friends to pull you through.
My first impression of Julia Rosemary Bingham, or Jubes for short, was the widest and toothiest grin I've ever seen a girl smile, without being entirely aware that she resembles the cross between a saber-tooth tiger and a patient visiting the dentist. Her nose wrinkles up, her eyes close and then comes the most infectious laugh that she almost makes you forget the reason you're laughing to begin with. It's been close to a decade that I've known Jubes and I was under the impression I knew all there was to know about my best friend. But that's when Rhodes intervened. Behind the laugh that sparks the cracking grins of onlooking strangers is a pain that you only notice when she's unaware that you're looking. Her uniquely green and yellow eyes widen and her mouth purses closed, there's a defiant look that plagues her thoughts and is mirrored in her expression. I've never noticed this until this year.
Jubes spent her high-school years at one of the most prestigious girls school in the country. St. Mary's exudes excellence in every way, sporting, academic and cultural, but “there's an emptiness when it comes to the spirit within the school”. Too much talent, excess and money makes the extraordinary seem mundane and the expectation to keep up appearances is a day-to-day task. Objectively, Jubes was different to everyone else, her vivacious outlook on being at this school was that it was a privilege. Privilege was not an aspect that many St. Mary's girls understood. Jubes had this ability to become comfortable in any situation and I never thought that the daunting reality of moving out of the home and into the world, was an experience Jubes couldn't handle.
Jubes has an older brother at Rhodes, Nick. For any student moving from being a day scholar to living away from home and having total independence, its a momentous milestone to reach in one's life. But it's somewhat easier to move to a place where you have family. In Jubes' case it was different. Nick encapsulates the Rhodent lifestyle, he drinks too much, party's too hard and everyone in Grahamstown knows him. Whether it's the barman at the 'Rat and Parrot', the Dean of Students or the local police officers, Nicholas Bingham's reputation precedes him. So coming from a classy school for elegant ladies to the raucous way of the Rhodent, Jubes was thrown into the Rhodes life and and thereafter referred to as “Bing-Bong's sister”.
When Nick was diagnosed with Muscular Dystrophy during the July holidays, Jubes' whole world shattered. She couldn't go out without knowing her brother was in utter denial of his situation and as a result just rejected any steps towards controlling his wild lifestyle. “It's not something I can explain, it's almost like I have to 'mother' him, I'm not forced to, but I can't see him when he's out of control and do nothing. I feel like I've restarted my first year and I'm all alone.”
From my perspective Jubes is a different person, her face doesn't light up the way it used to and her laughs are short-lived. This year has been the most trying and soul destroying year Jubes has ever had to endure. Throughout life friends change and mature differently and university changes people the most, but although this year has been a year of growth and pain for Jubes she will always put the people she loves before herself. She hasn't only survived this year she has dominated it. She has tackled her struggles head-on and dealt with them without losing sight of what she treasures most. She's my inspiration, my hero and the first person I think of when I wake up in the morning. I only want to one day be the inspiration she's been to me.
After reading this letter I was reminded of the emotions and worries that were part of my journey when I arrived here at Rhodes. This letter helped me conjure up those emotions and although my letter did not focus on the emotional side of coming to Rhodes and the struggles we’ve faced since then (like many of the letters have). In my letter I chose to focus on one aspect of the rhodent lifestyle which everyone becomes accustomed to when arriving here, rather than the general view of how one feels when they arrive here. By focussing on issues such as academics and the social life at Rhodes I tried to pave a way for my younger self so that she could choose the kind of lifestyle she would adopt when she got here. The letter to Kaz seems to focus on the emotional side of first year experience; I found it ineffective because compared to my own she seemed to be focussing on what had occurred in the first semester of the year, while I was focussed on the social transition from high school to varsity with an emphasis on social and sporting life.
http://www.bungeemylife.blogspot.com
Hey Dan
I heard that you’re coming to Rhodes this year; you must be nervous about O-Week and moving into res. I will tell you my story. Excitement, fear and anticipation were what I felt as I drove all the way up the hill to my new home. I saw my fellow first years, all looking pale from the night before, walking ghostly past me as I entered my residence: Centenary House. The experience was frightening because I knew I was going to have to say goodbye to my family in a few hours. Residence- life was going to become like home-life and I couldn’t understand how I was going to cope. To ease this experience I should have know a few things. I’ll tell you what I wished I had known. Your res-mates will become some of your best friends who you can count on through thick and thin. You will be exposed to cultures far beyond your own. Your previous conception of partying will be changed forever, when you meet your first real Rhodent at the Rat. Residence life will lead you to use legendary terms and to learn about how to survive your first year at University. Terms like naps, pre-drinks, average, dawnies and the impervious pull of the one they call DC++, a dangerous sounding drug to you on your first day, but now a good friend who gets you through those times of boredom i.e. Swot week. In order to truly help you through your days in residence, you should know that learning as you go is the best way to experience Rhodes. If I was to map out every aspect of my life now for you, I would ruin it for you. All I can say is that it will be surprising when you will realize that you can cope easily, when you realize that living in residence is not that far from home-life. You don’t need to worry about passing either, because res life not only provides you with some of the best times of your life, but also has a good support structure if you cannot cope academically. The best way you can settle in, is by being chilled when you arrive and not focusing too much on leaving your parents. Remember every other first year is feeling exactly the same as you.
Cheers Mate…
Dear Rose
So you made it out of high school and straight to university you went, right after the pit stop you made at college. You are probably thinking what an amazing waist of time that was. But hey, if you think about in depth, it was a blessing in disguise. The time you oh so ‘waisted’ at college enabled you to refer to yourself as a Rhodent. Besides you have many friends back home who would kill for the opportunity of being in university, so be grateful.
Now let me fill you in with the general things I feel you might face. Varsity life is not what you think it is it is a whole lot different I tell you. No one reminds you that you have assignments to hand in, or readings to prepare for, and no… they do not take register, so whether you make it to lectures or not, it is your own loss or maybe even your gain, unless if you are an aspiring lawyer. You face real political, religious and sexual issues. Where you meet people like Suzie who arrive at Rhodes being virgins and ‘staunch Christians’, only to leave Rhodes having degrees in ‘Equilibrium’ or better yet ‘Friars’ and have been ‘laid’ during O-week for crying out loud. Ntombenhle who signed up for all the societies she has ever dreamt of, and thinks it is okay to do so only because her friend is adventurous and only has a dog as a sibling. The difference between them is, her friends father is loaded… well being CEO for Unilever he must be. And she has five brothers and four sister who are all still under her parents care, so she has to go easy on that financial aid. Tshepo tries so hard to adapt to varsity and pulls the whole fitting in stunt by playing rugby, when he knows very well that black people are born into soccer or nothing, and being like him growing up in Soweto playing soccer with a tennis ball was the best way. Sthembile, who has probably never used a shower before and the boys at his res seem to be having a good laugh about it, well it is not his fault the Waskom did his family justice.
Basically what I am tying to say is that you are privileged enough to have someone like me to warn you about things like these. Do not laugh at Suzie instead take her to church with you once and she might get back on track. Invite Ntombenhle over for supper at your place when it is society sign up evening, trust me she would appreciate it. Buy Tshepo a soccer ball kicking oval balls is not his idea of enjoying sports. And all Sthembile needs is a little white lie, all he needs is someone to laugh at for a change. Rose my dear many enrol only to be excluded and have their DP’s taken away. The secret to conquering Varsity is trusting in Him who has had mercy on you and showered you with His grace. And remember those who leave everything in God’s hand will learn to see God’s hand as everything. Janis Joplin says, "Don’t compromise yourself. You’re all you’ve got".
Your Loving Better Half
Nomzamo
11A Celeste House
Cnr Somerset & African Street
Grahamstown
6140
25 September 2008
Dear Little Mpho
Remember that day when you were telling your friends that you couldn’t wait to go to university so that you could finally choose what you wanted to study, and finally do what you love? Well university is really a place where one gets such a chance but it is hard work hey. To save yourself any disappointment when applying at Rhodes University make sure that your Grade 11 results are outstanding, just in case the June matric exams don’t turn out the way you hoped they would okay (there’s a big chance they won’t be that great).
When you get to matric make sure you go all out with your subjects as well as your social life, because there’s a big chance that you and your mates won’t be as close as you currently are after matric. The one thing you realise when you get to university is that no-one has time to run behind you nagging you to come to practice, the onus is on you to make the see that you are dedicated to the sport. There are societies and sports clubs you can join when you get to varsity, the membership fee is a once-off price (about R120) and the best part is that you don’t even have to go to any of the practices and no-one will reprimand you.
The other thing about these clubs is that there’s a social team and the official one, so depending on your laziness you can decide what you want join. Everyone’s favourite part about societies and clubs is the events they host; a lot of cheese n wine events, plays, concerts, marches, protests as well as a whole lot of parties. That’s one thing no-one ever told you about Rhodes, this place is full of alcoholics watch yourself so that you don’t become one as well.
Love you tons and Best of luck
Big Mpho :)
Dearest Jess (Fresh out of Matric)
I cannot tell you to leave your day dreaming at the door because you never will. If a time-machine existed and this letter could go back to you I know that you would not stop idealising University life. I know this because in the past months at Rhodes I’ve gotten to know you a lot better than ever before. I didn’t leave you behind at Fairmont, but instead I was forced to deal with all the problems that you had times one million.
Your first term at Rhodes will be alright. You’ll get homesick but still believe that you made the right choice. In the second term you will break down and want to go home. You will hate the person that you have become. You will wish that you had gone to AAA and moved downstairs with Christine. You won’t tell anybody this because you will not want to admit that you made the wrong decision. You will go home for the long weekend and make a stupid mistake that disappoints everybody, especially you.
Third term will change all of that. You will start to do the things that you want to do and not just what is expected of you. You will have so much fun and make so many mistakes. You will learn how to control your moods. You will accept the way that you are and start to enjoy it. You will realise exactly how drastically you have changed for the better and realise that it was all worth it. You will also find out how hard you are going to have to work to get where you want to be. You will force yourself to stop hiding behind your day dreams and face reality. Then you will go back to day dreaming.
Your first year at Rhodes University is not going to be easy. You will revert back to your old ways of dealing with things more than once. That voice that narrates your life with a condescending tone will still be there but you will learn to shut it up once in a while. You’ll grow as a person and then go home where you’re expected to be the same. Your first year at Rhodes will challenge you to re-evaluate who you want to be. It will also be the best year of your life so far.
I was going to warn you and give you advice that would help you to avoid all the mistakes that I have made but all those mistakes will shape you into somebody that you might actually like.
Have fun breaking all the rules you set for yourself.
Jess (First year Rhodes student)
P.S. Listen to your mom’s advice on New Years eve. She may know a thing or two.
My Darling Sam,
Firstly, welcome to Rhodes! You don't realize this now but this next year is going to be the craziest, most exciting roller-coaster ride of your life! You have the most fantastic Residence with friends that turn your world upside down and inside out. University is a time of your life where you'll learn who you are and who you want to be. The only learning institution you know right now is St. Mary's school for girls- you'll soon realize how protected your life has been so far and that you'll uncover the path to discovering who you are without the influence of your school friends . Rhodes may be situated in a small town a long drive from most cities but Rhodes will show you the world, it's up to you to take full advantage while you are here.
If there's one thing I can pass on that I wish I was told when I started, that is to have a rubber arm! This is your first year away from home and the novelty of independence is rife. You'll face decisions that normally would be completely out of the question at home such as, going out and drinking during the week, watching movies on your computer until the early hours of the morning, going to lectures with a throbbing hangover and pulling 'all-nighters' learning for tests you've most likely grossly under-prepared for! My advice to you is never back down. Work hard and play harder! Go out and have fun at every opportunity, make memories with your friends that you'll never forget, explore things you've never tried, play hockey, tennis and any other sport you've wanted to play. If there was one year in your life to completely break the barriers it would be now. Have a rubber arm and fully embrace everything there is to Rhodes because I know there's an inner 'wild child' in you and I know that what you're about to experience will rock your world! So never back down from an experience because how often do you hear people comment that their fondest memories at university was the quality of their work?
Have this year and embrace.
All my love,
Samantha
My dear friend,
Life as you know it is about to change, you have no idea what fantastic life altering stomach lurching experiences are in store for you; so my advice is to come prepared. What will shock you the most about Rhodes is the abundance of alcohol, and the incest that cannot be avoided by the end of O-Week.
Balancing friends, your boyfriend and work is going to be one of the most difficult things you will have to do, don’t worry, practice makes perfect. You are going to meet the most beautiful people, don’t be afraid to open yourself up to them. Let yourself go, be free, be a first year! Go out with your friends, get rip roaring drunk, but make sure you come home to your own room. Have a bucket next to your bed, a bottle of water and intense painkillers for the morning. This is when you will experience something known as “losers”, when you have these occasional nights out don’t worry chances are no one will remember. Make sure you find time for your friends; they are going to be the people you are going to spend the next three years with (hopefully).
The most important advice I can give you is DO NOT get drunk when you are emotional, rather watch dirty dancing and cry your eyes out!
Things to Remember:
1. Cane Trian-R25.00 at the Union
2. Digs formals: dressing up like a stereotypical slut and having to lose some dignity
3. Look after yourself; you are young but not invincible.
4. Avoid having naps (when you sleep in a boy’s room) in o-week, first impression last.
You are starting a new chapter in your life; now is the time to go wild!
Sincerely
Kate x x x
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